What can I do?

Duh?? But I thought... I once asked a a question on a popular AS Facebook page that said: "What are some things you ladies do to cope with sudden changes in life?"

I became alarmed when I got NO responses (!!!). An inevitable part of AS and Autism is mood swings and anxiety, which can cause meltdowns. Sudden, unexpected changes can put this process in high gear. So, I thought I would share with you a few simple things I do (or try to do) to make changes and transitions easier. Now I'm no doctor, and certain conditions need a doctor's diagnosis, care etc. Use your best judgement at knowing when to see a physician.

1. Learn to say NO

This is a HUGE one, so I'll start off with that. One of my favorite songs says it best: "There'll never be an end to the request upon your time. It's your place to stand up & tell the world you gotta rest a while.". I know this can be super hard for us super sensitive Aspies, but sometimes it's the only way. If you're like me, you also struggle with an internal guilt because you really LOVE your "cave" and your alone time. As in, too much. :) Just as sometimes, we have to make ourselves get up and function...sometimes, we need to do the opposite. When you need some ME time, take it. Believe it or not, you CAN say no to some of the countless functions and activities that your friends, family and co-workers are just determined that you join (especially if they know you have a tendency to "hibernate," and they feel it's their duty to "bring you out of your shell". Be careful. Sometimes we need to be in the shell for a while to recharge. Take your time. This can be especially critical around the holidays.

2. Make a List

This is something that will help you prepare for later when you DO have anxiety & tension. What things help you settle down? For me, usually it's certain tastes in my mouth: hard candy, or Hershey's kisses, a cold Pepsi? Maybe 3x5 cards with meditations, Bible verses, or favorite quotes. For some, having something to hold, or squeeze helps with stimming and helps take the edge off when nerves are on end. Try to keep these things with you...in your purse, bag, briefcase, pockets, backpack, lunch bag or in your car.

3. Step Outside

This is not always possible, but, whenever the situation permits, go get some air. This can help you get your thoughts together and calm down.

4. Take some deep breaths

This is for those times when you can't step outside or take a restroom break. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and slowly breathe through your nose, this way, you take a much deeper breath and that helps your body relax.

5. Say it with Music

I have certain music I use that helps me calm down. Keep your favorite device & headphones with you. Organize your favorite playlists, or download your favorite music on to CD's. Nature sounds also work wonderfully for this. I love ocean waves, myself. Note: this can help a lot with sleep as well. Concentrating on music, comforting words or sounds can lessen anxiety and stress at night.

6. Reward Yourself

When facing something that perhaps you're are dreading to do, think of ways to reward yourself in the process. Make a special stop for example. Is there a favorite restaurant or coffee place on the way home? A bookstore, a look at antiques, is there a movie you really want to see? Go see it now! Note: sometimes a reward can become something as simple as a walk to the vending machine, if you're at work all day, or waiting at the hospital, say. Sit in your car & listen to a favorite radio program maybe.

7. Know your Triggers

This can be another list. For instance, I tend to get tension headaches, so I keep some pain reliever with me, just in case. If I really anticipate a stressful day, I'll even take it in the morning before I get started with the day. I also get butterflies in the stomach sometimes, so I keep some pepto tablets or antacids handy too. Now, I don't recommend using these things everyday. I only keep them just in case other things don't work, or are not practical.

8. Go Natural

I have two bottles of drops on my kitchen counter. They are both plant extracts that I got at a health food store. One says: anxiety and tension on the label, the other says failure and inadequacy. They are formulas designed for each. I take three drops of each on my tongue in the morning when I get up. Now I'm not giving away any names because different things work for different people, and some things don't work for certain people. I'll just say that they work for me... and with no side effects or higher doses. Do your research. There are a lot of supplements and remedies out there for anxiety, tension, and mood changes that really work, and have no side effects. They're natural. Just make sure you read up on them and use them correctly :)

9. Take Sheldon's Advice

On "The Big Bang Theory," whenever someone is upset, Sheldon offers them a hot beverage. Course, with Sheldon, this is not optional. This person is being comforted...whether they like it or not! :). But personally, I find that Sheldon's advice works...and you have as many options as you like! Hot tea, hot chocolate, hot cider, hot buttered rum :). You name it...it's quite comforting. Anything from Starbucks works! Just settle in and sip slowly...try it...I dare you! :)

10. Make A Space

Weather it is your bedroom, a corner of your house, or even a closet. Find a space in your house that you can make a refuge. A place that you can go to for relaxing when you're stressed. Fill it with things that comfort you: books, journals, favorite pillows, candles, CD's, favorite artwork, the sky's the limit! Just keep it simple, so the space doesn't defeat it's purpose. This can be where you go, say, during or after a meltdown. The best spaces can be one's that are not even in the house. :) my ideal space is one where I can shut out all lights and sound if I want to. Just do the best you can, and relax! :)


Hopefully, these things can help with stress anxiety and the Meltdowns that come with Autism and AS.