Autistics Rejoice! :)

Duh?? But I thought...

.I was just thinking, I have found what I think is a huge blessing from having AS.

This got me to thinking about some of the major stereo types surrounding AS and what can be done to help deal with the negativity. I am not a doctor. These are my opinions based on my own experiences. This does not apply to everyone with AS. These are general observations...some written in the first person, some written to Autistics in general. Note: absolutely NO disrespect intended towards those who are not Autistic. I'm only trying to take some of the stereotypes of autism and turn them on their head! :)

The blessing is...

Learning to just roll with it. No no, I'm serious. I think when we have AS we can learn to just roll with it, even better than someone who doesn't have it. I find that for me personally, I know that I need a lot of assistance doing even little things that test my fine motor skills. Too many directions at once are confusing for me, things like that. Whether I like it or not, I've had to learn to be dependent on others in ways that maybe I'd rather not. But there are actually several pros to this:

Now, what makes AS tough, is that, for one thing, we often explain things "inside out" and then have to turn them around. (Like I just did). Did you catch that? I said there are several PROS to this & then pointed out what makes AS tough.

Sometimes, it's harder to allow people to help us than it is to keep on being fiercely independent. I've come to believe that it can be our independence on others that can help us form relationships with people. Since those with AS have many challenges when it comes to relationships, this need to accept others help can be a doorway of opportunity that helps US, rather than a huge burden that needs correcting.

1. So many people struggle with being stressed out & having too much to do, so many times many NT's just wish they knew how to back off and do less...not take on so much. With AS, this is built in...it's almost like we're born with it. We generally HAVE to bite things off in small pieces and know where our limits are... Because we often don't have much energy to begin with. This does not have to be a strike against us. In fact, it can be an amazing gift because we know our time is precious...and we are "forced" to give ourselves more options in spending it. That's just the way it is. We just can't do things the same way all the time...especially if we're women. This often means we cultivate amazing courage because yes, we are...swimming against the tide. Now, this sounds like a total paradox, doesn't it? Aren't Autistics very ritualistic? Don't they HAVE to do things the same way every time? Depends on the person. Some do...that's true. But personally, I find that a solution can be to... sit back and relax. Okay, so I can't handle very much at one time. I have something built in that allows me to rest more. Granted, many times, there is too much to do, and I don't have the energy to do it. Everybody has this issue. Just that those with AS can be much more aware of it, because our systems tell us...amen? So, we get to be excellent managers of the energy and time that we do have. This is an excellent skill to have.

2. I'm not afraid of boredom. Do I like being bored? Of course not. In fact, this drives me nuts...BUT, it forces me to just "chill out.". Hey, why keep fighting with it? Yeah, I struggle with restlessness, but most of the time, this is because I'm afraid that my life won't be exciting enough for OTHER people...not for me. The truth is...it takes very very little to make me happy. So little in fact, that I'm afraid others won't think I'm interesting; or even worse...that I'm lazy and I don't care. This let's me know that when I'm bored, it's easy to remedy.

3. This leads me to number three. I don't need a lot of attention. In fact, many times, the less attention I have from others, the better, because this gives me a peace... No pressure. Just me, and my thoughts and ideas. My mind is free to go at its own pace. I don't struggle with being out of step because there's no one to be in step with. This doesn't have to be depressing, it can be very freeing.
(on the other hand, this changes drastically when I am forced to be sociable and do things with other people. I'm like the one little mushroom in "Fantasia" who's trying to do the same dance as the others, and can't. I'm hurried and nervous, and overwhelmed with directions. This interaction is often unnerving for me.

4. I absolutely can be IN THE MOMENT. A stereo type about AS is that we can't be in the moment because we have to have everything planned. Wrong. Aspies want to have things planed so that they know when they are FREE to be in the moment. It's our freedom we're after...not some rigid thing that never changes. The problem for us can come when others insist on taking us OUT of the moment...because of all their plans. (okay, we have to go do this now). The moment that it takes others to tell me some joke that I don't understand, is likely a moment that I WAS enjoying in my own way. In fact, I WAS so in the moment, that now, I'm really upset because I think the moment's been stolen from me, due to social pressure. I can't count the number of times when I have been truly grieved because in about 60 seconds, I had the perfect peace of mind, and the perfect thoughts. All of this is abruptly shattered because someone (bless their heart) decides to ask me how I'm doing. How could this possibly be as important as the beauty I'm seeing in my own mind?

5. We have long, long memories. We store our moments up...and we can remember them years later, as though they just happened. We can also connect things to seemingly random memories...years later. It's like our brains are huge filing cabinets, and we know what's in each file and can pull it up at any time. This may seem useless and not related to a thing, but, we can make room in our heads for things that many people don't have room for. Our biggest heart ache can be that the business of life doesn't leave us much room to do this.

6. This leads me to another HUGE stereotype. That people with AS are sort of on "auto pilot" all the time because they don't handle change well. Wrong. In my opinion. Many of the things that people must do in order to deal with daily life REQUIRE them to be on auto-pilot a lot of the time because they have to be. Autistic people suffer a lot of frustration because we are actually wanting desperately to break OUT of this pattern...not get into it because we can't handle change. We LOVE change...we LOVE exciting and new things...we just don't handle OTHER PEOPLE'S change well, because we then have to get into another person's... auto-pilot. In other words. This is their normalcy, this is what THEY are used to. This is THEIR routine. It's a reasoning process. We have to take things...even little things and make them our OWN before we are comfortable doing them. It is not change that does not allow people to do this...it's the need of others that we do things the same way every time...and be on "auto pilot". So many times, life just REQUIRES this of us...I get that. But I truly believe that many Autistics struggle terribly because of "routines" put in place by social norms that they are not allowed to break out of. So guess what? This means WE have a wonderful ability to be FLEXIBLE!!! I think the truly difficult part is that so much of the everyday, Neuro-typical world, is not able to allow for

6. I know exactly what I want. Believe it or not, my simplified life makes this very easy for me. I know exactly what I want when it comes to what I eat and drink, what I wear, my hair, my make-up and many other personal preferences. The stereo-type is that autistic people have trouble making decisions. We do? Umm, no...I usually want the same thing (most of the time)because I already know what works for me & what doesn't. What's indecisive about that? The problem comes because of all the excess information and choices an autistic person must "wade" through that have NOTHING to do with what they actually WANT. An autistic person only wants ONE thing...MAYBE two...and that's it. Simple. We'd rather not have the "sea" of choices we are often presented with. We've often made a decision long before we're actually faced with it...even with mundane things. Why should we be faulted when, despite only needing one option, we were presented with... way too many? Less is definitely more!

I know that sometimes, my mind becomes rather gloomy because delving into Autism, and everything that it seems to be...makes me feel less than. I know I'm NOT "less than" but it can be easy to get lost in overwhelming weakness and uncertainty. What can you do? Embrace yourself for who you are. Be as patient as you can with others, and know that you're just fine :)