Who Knew?

The irony of this blog is that it has all started with my looking into a story of a person who happens to have Aspurger's Syndrome. The more I've researched this person's story, the more I've wondered if I have Aspurger's Syndrome. I would read about this invididual, and then read about different characteristics of those who are known as "Aspies" and feel as though I was reading about... Me. I am 34 years old and have never been tested for AS. At birth, I was diagnosed with cerebral Palsy because there was a lack of oxygen to my brain, apparently. There are a few (supposedly typical) characteristics of AS that do not seem to fit me at all. This is, of course, where my confusion comes in. But of course there are exceptions to every rule, so... I'm now going to tell my own story, bringing as many relevant circumstances "to the table" as I can. My hope is to obtain some proper testing that would tell me conclusively whether I actually have this condition, or if I am somewhere in the autism spectrum. As mentioned, I was born with Cerebral Palsy (So my parents were informed.) So, is it CP, or actually AS?? I was an emergency C-Section, and was immediately placed in an incubator with tubes put into me because my lungs were under developed. My liver was also under developed and I was placed under the "bright light" while wearing eye patches. I have spastic muscles, flat feet and hammer toes. One of my toes on my left foot is shorter tan it should be due to atrophy. I did not learn to stand on my own and walk until I was almost three years old, but at two years old, I had the vocabulary of a four year old. I actually began to speak at about a year old, and I had no first word (according to my mom) I simply began saying sentences. At two, I could sing and change pitch. At a year and a half old, I got my first pair of glasses. I slowly began to focus my eyes, have had a wandering eye most of my life, which I've now had surgery to correct. My eyes appear normal, but I've been told by doctors that they do not work together. They switch (back & forth). This is something that happens in my brain... Not my eyes themselves. I do not have double vision and I'm not cross-eyed , but often it appears that I am because of my wandering eye. I have A LOT of astigmatism, and (I'm told), problems with my rods and cones (I'm not even sure I understand that). As I've gotten older, I've noticed that my eyes have developed occasional twitches. I now often blink one and not the other, which I've always done at times, but seem to do it more now as an adult. As A toddler, I began to be put in a combination of braces and casts to help keep my tendons straight. At around age ten I was told I could abandon the braces altogether because my gait and muscle tone were strong enough that I would probably be okay with walking and exercise. My muscles of course will always be spastic and weak, but at the same time, I have a very strong gait, straight posture and straight limbs. I have never had seizures, or uncontrollable tremors. Today, I have TMJ Syndrome because of excessive teeth grinding since I was small. I toe walk on my left side... This side of me is my weaker side (lower limbs), but I am left handed. My creative side is certainly the one I favor. However, I do not do well with things that require physical movement, balance, coordination, or re-creating physical shapes or structures. I CAN draw something that I'm given a picture of or something that is put in front of me...but this too is quite a challenge for me. It can take me hours and I can get so frustrated with it, I often want to give it up. There are several drawings I've completed, but in several ways, they look incomplete, sloppy, or childlike because of problems with precision and depth perception. Reading, researching, writing and remembering are what I'm good at... These and singing. I am nothing if not auditory. I sing or talk almost constantly. I sing things that aren't originally meant to be sung, even. I'm always, talking, whispering or mumbling... More to myself then others. I very often repeat my words out loud to myself, and I am constantly keeping some kind of "beat" even if only in my head.