Strength in Weakness (Part Two)

Duh?? But I thought... I don't know whether it's more socially acceptable for men or women to find strength in their weaknesses. My instinct tells me it's more acceptable for women. I know that men and women handle their weaknesses and strengths in different ways. I would say that men want to avoid showing any vulnerabilities at all costs, but I do not believe this is true. Some of the most sensitive, likable people I know are men. This is a wonderful thing that makes men amazing protectors, but society often treats these qualities as... Weaknesses that must be avoided at all costs. We live in a society that seems to be trying to teach women to act like men, and men to act like women.

Just watch any movie, television show or commercial. Women are portrayed as the do it all, in control, 24 hrs. A day ones, while men are portrayed as the weak, stumbling idiots who don't know where anything is, and can't do anything without the know it all women in their lives. These women belittle their men and gang up on them for not understanding some innuendo they shared amongst their girlfriends. Another very puzzling thing to me, is all the reality shows and talk shows dealing with engaged couples. I always wind up sitting there wondering WHY these men WANT to marry these women. They're controlling, demanding, belittling, they tear down their man's character in front of others. Where is the "reward" for marrying them?? I think showing weakness is acceptable for ladies (because they are the one's already handling everything anyway, but when men show weakness, it is acceptable and completely politically correct to make them feel as stupid and akward as possible.

Now, do I agree with all this sad stuff? Absolutely not...it makes me want to cry! I agree that it happens, but I don't agree that it SHOULD happen. According to author Shaunti Feldham, a man lives every day with a deep fear that they will be found to be an imposter in their own lives... that everyone around them will suddenly discover that they are not for real. As our providers and protectors, our men get out into the rink everyday to slay the dragons of life so that we will see that their accomplishment benefits us as well as them. Relationships are frightening. Failure is frightening. Rejection is frightening. Even as I write this, I know that what I write of is a burden I cannot understand. Add to this, the complication that it is socially accepted that men are no more than insensitive, uncaring unkind "clods". Not fair. Not fair.

So, in all of this, where is there room for mistakes, or vulnerability? We women are supposed to be a guy's soft place to fall. Hopefully, he has a mother, a sister, a girlfriend, or a wife that he is able to feel safe opening up to. Hopefully, he always knows, that no matter what kind of a day he's having, she will always love and respect him. I believe the church can play a huge part in this as well, offering fellowship, counsel, prayer and accountability. Hopefully, men have a strong, ethical male influence in their life, be it their dad, or grandfather, a brother, friend, or mentor.

But how can a woman be a man's soft place to fall when she's so busy handling everything around her? We have the power of choice yes... but is it possible that this power only makes it more difficult to be ourselves? Anyway, how is a woman able to be soft, and vulnerable and respectful and accepting of a man's need to provide and protect, when she has had to take over all these things herself? Many women are single parents, for example, faced with a task never really designed to be theirs... that of being both mom and dad. This task is possible, but unbelievably difficult and tiring! Women often become "able" to do this task out of necessity, but when this woman has no support, how does she learn to yield to it, or be accepting of it, should it come her way? And where does this leave a guy? With our society screaming that it's so pollitically correct to let women handle everything, are guys left to just hang around... sort of like spectators in their own lives? It is not easy for a man to willingly lay down his life in order to be everything for her. How much harder is it, when he is not able to find where he fits in the life they've made? What does a man do when the one job he is made for is stripped away from him, while the woman in his life is frustrated and angry because he's unwilling to help her with anything?

Such a "catch 22" as they say! So where in the world is there room for weakness and vulnerability in that?? Well, guess what folks? There is going to be a part three to this, because, for now, I need to take a break! I would just say, ladies, he needs respect. Guys, she needs sensitivity and protection. :)