But I liked them...

Another rather akward moment came when my aunt's kitchen was being redone. She had painted her cabinets this bold turquoise color and put these rooster decals on each door. I remember she'd been so proud of herself & so excited to show everybody. When she passed away, my grandmother moved into her house & the kitchen was re-painted. As my family was there helping with the effort, it became unanimous that aunt Barbara's rooster's were soooo ugly, and they had to go. I can't count how many times it had been mentioned that someone was trying to figure what aunt Barbara was thinking when she painted those Roosters (!!!). I thought they were marvelous! I loved those kitchen cabinets and I kept wanting to scream it out.... What's WRONG with them??!!! But I knew I was the only dork who felt that way. Those cabinets reminded me of something you might see in an English kitchen in a stately victorian house. Besides aunt Barbara had made them herself & she was so proud of them! Now, anybody is entitled to NOT like them...I understand that. But why was I the only one who did like them? How come I couldn't think they were awful like everyone else? Well, I still don't think they were awful. But I remember being profoundly hurt that everyone around me could not wait to get rid of them. This was a part of her kitchen! If you take her roosters away, something's broken, it won't be complete!! Now, it was going to be Grandma's kitchen.... And that was a good thing. So why was I so bummed out... Even depressed? Why couldn't I just get over it already? I had that feeling again that the world was closing in on me. There was nothing I could do about it. Why did I have to be the only dork who liked those ugly things?? Well, I wasn't... aunt Barbara had loved them too. Thing is, she wasn't here anymore, and I was. I never told anybody how I truly felt about it. When the whole kitchen was finished & my grandma liked it much better, I "agreed" that I liked it and went along with my family" In any case I'm glad that grandma liked the way her kitchen was redone; but nobody knows that I still miss those roosters. I miss them as though they were angry that they were painted over. I miss them as though they were "hurt" because they had to disappear. Something a child would do? I suppose... But that's just a day in the life for me. Do I have too much "imagination" to have AS? I keep reading that one of the characteristics of an Aspie is that they usually do not imagine or pretend. Are these those non-physical things that people with Asperger's don't relate to? Or is this my own little world? This sort of reflective "just suppose" thinking is nothing unusual for me. I couldn't breathe if I could not do that! No, I don't mean that literally. If I had AS, would I BELIEVE that was literal? I don't know...I'm confused.