How Does That Work? (Could it be Better for Those With AS to Stay Single?)

I was just reading an article about the way that AS an Autism can affect men in relationships. I thought the perspective in the article was to the point and had a lot of good things to say. At the end of the article there were 29 comments, a few of which were from women who'd been married to men with AS for many years. One woman had accepted the fact that her husband was not able to show her any affection. She said she loved him and that there were some positive things taking place. Another woman said that it,s good to remind your partner with AS that it's important for them to tell others how much they are loved and appreciated. Another woman said that, being married to a man with AS, she learned that she was responsible for building a life. Yet another woman was in complete agony (or she seemed to be). She said her husband was not able to reciprocate any emotion, and that over the years, she had lost her physical and emotional health. I sat there totally perplexed.

These women's responses did not surprise me. The reason I was perplexed is because I'm not sure I understand how a guy with AS even know 's he's in love in the first place. This statement is not an insult. Since the article was about men with AS, I'm gonna stick with that. Okay, so, if a guy with AS or Autism expresses emotion differently, and he seems to have so much trouble returning affection, how does he know he's in love with her in the first place? I mean, what "creates the spark". What "turns that light on" if you will? My point is that he has to feel something for her at some point. Is she an "obsession" that he forms? How does that work? I suppose that since all people are different, each answer would be different. But I wonder, on the whole, might it be better (more simplified) for people with AS or autism to stay single, rather than being in a marriage/ relationship. Again, I'm sure this is not true in every case.

The thing is... women NEED affirmation, they NEED sensitivity and gentleness, They NEED physical affection that is not sex (hugs kisses, back rubs, tossing their hair, etc.). Women NEED their man to take them in their arms and just hold them. They need the flutters and warm tingles and shivers of excitement that come when he holds her hand. Women need to know that when they are hurt or afraid, they can cry on their husband's shoulder (literally) and he will not be angry with her because her emotions get in the way of what he's doing. They need to know that he will lay aside what he's doing and give her attention when she needs him to hear what she's saying. These are not optional, guys. This is part of who women are and the above things I mentioned are a lot of what makes a woman feel safe in a relationship. This is absolutely essential for a woman. When she doesn't feel safe and secure in a relationship, she will pull away emotionally and physically, and she will resent (eventually) the man that she's with because he doesn't do anything about it.

So, if he simply is not aware, and doesn't realize what he doesn't realize, and most likely does not talk to her (maybe because he does not think there is any reason to), what does a woman build that relationship on? Maybe I should say, what does a MAN build that relationship on? What makes him pursue her in the first place?