Sparky

Clark Griswold always seemed to take planing to this cosmic level: a level that no one could reach... Not even him. This always leading to some horrible, overblown tantrums when someone tried to say that he might be overdoing it, or that the whole event has been ruined. So in "Christmas Vacation," Ellen has to say
"It's just that I know how you build things up in your mind Sparky... You set standards that no family event can ever live up to."
To which Clark sighs and says: "When have I ever done that?"
So Ellen must remind him: "... Parties, weddings, funerals, holidays, vacations, graduations..."

Well, gotta love Clark for his undying optimism.

But what happens when Clark begins to unravel because his fantastic vision of what he wanted to happen just isn't reality. The insanity seems to leak out of his ears as he spouts off obscenities, and stomps off to try and resurrect. Whatever has fallen through the cracks. Poor guy! I read an article just today about a mother and her adult autistic son. Mom went and picked her son up from his house to spend the weekend at home. It was Superbowl weekend and her son was determined to go to a Superbowl party. But the only people they knew that might be having one were out of town that weekend, and might not be back on time. The 23 year old diligently called each of his friend's to see who might be celebrating... Only to find that most of them have moved away. But excitedly, mom took her son to buy a bag of chips and bake some cookies for a Superbowl party that wasn't even on. His mother did get ahold of their friend's that had gone out of town. They said he could come over to their place if they were back in time. So at three o clock Sunday afternoon, a very nervous mom drove her son, bag of chips and plate of cookies on his lap, to his friend's home. The whole time she prayed that they would be home... That they would invite him in... That they wouldn't mind having him, that they wouldn't be too exhausted. Matthew knew, without ever wavering that there would be a party this weekend! It was an adrenaline rush that had kept him going all weekend! What would the reaction be if there weren't one?

Wonderfully, mom's prayer's were answered. Their friend's had come home! A family member answered the door in her bathrobe, and said "Matt! I was hoping that was you!". Matt walks in the house with his plate of cookies and said that he would need a bowl for the chips. He also promptly said:

"Mom, you can go now.". (Hey, these were HIS friend's, ya know!)

Anyway, like Clark Griswold, Matt had a plan and he would not waiver from it. And guess what?... In the end, his wonderful idea came to be! (thanks to an optimistic, and discreet and patient mom who allowed her son to cling to his idea, even though she was truly afraid it would not work out. She was sorta like Ellen, following Clark through all his determined plans. :). I've seen my own mom handle countless things with me in this way too. But it occurs to me that for the parent of someone with AS or Autism, it can be quite a juggling act. At least, I would think so. Sometimes, even for adults with these conditions, there is simply no way to avoid a very strong emotional reaction to failed plans. Sometimes things just don't work out. But when the anticipation of success gives one something to look forward to... What happens when plans fall through? How difficult is it to be so dependent on the reassurance of others, but feel guilty because you don't want to NEED that anymore? So the parent in this sort of dynamic is caught between wanting to make "dreams" come true, but being fearful that this won't be the reality. At least, this is my guess. Goodness! :). But then there are those awesome times when somehow, everything comes together and it all works out...sometimes better tan expected! Yes!! Sweet victory!! :)