Through the Looking Glass

It seems to me that people with AS or Autism feel a great deal of empathy for others... But they feel it (or see it) through the mirror of their own experiences.

I can't count how many times in conversation, I have apologized to the other person for turning the conversation back on myself. I understand... This is rude, and it makes the other person/people feel left out. I know I feel awful when I'm left out of conversations and I can't have the same understanding of a subject because somehow, something got lost in translation. Anyway, If I feel that way, how do others feel when I treat them the same way?

The sucky thing is that, usually, little things that bother me a great deal.... Don't have the same affect on others around me. "They" may not have even given such a trivial thing a second thought, but for me... That little thing would be a big deal. Damn... Just when I thought I had some common ground with somebody.

Anyway, I think we can feel empathy like we need to breathe air... Really.
But sometimes it doesn't "register" with us that our actions ( or lack there of) are not communicating the message that we are thinking and feeling at the time. For instance, we can see someone that we have missed like we can't explain, and want to run and give them the biggest bear hug and scream their name. But we worry a lot about leveling people with our strong sense of what we feel, so we learn to pull back, and not say as much. Sometimes what we don't say can really drive us nuts from the inside out, but for the sake of appearing "normal", we hold back. The irony being that we appear aloof and quiet and shy and perhaps even appear as though we can't stand up for ourselves. Add to this an often trusting and even gullible nature and... Well let's just say that we have to make sure that we know ourselves well enough to protect ourselves, don't we? More tomorrow! :)